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A. Reality television. But before we get to that… The most important story in sports media this week, especially because we haven’t been talking about it enough, is the impact of last weekend’s disqualification of Michelle Wie from her first professional event, the Samsung World Championship. Now you’re screaming, “Not talking about it enough? That’s the most coverage of women’s golf since that time Mary-Kate and Ashley went to putt-putt!” So maybe it’s not that the conversation isn’t happening, but that we’re having the wrong conversation; instead of talking about Michelle Wie, we need to talk about Michael Bamberger.
Bamberger is the Sports Illustrated writer who first became suspicious of Wie’s improper
ball drop on the 7th hole of Saturday’s round. In an interview
at CNNSI.com, Bamberger describes his own Woodward & Bernstein-esque investigation
into her alleged improprieties, and the existential torment he endured while
sorting through golf ethics that sleepless Saturday night. First of all, the Bamberger interview (at the website for
his own publication) is a joke. It reads as if Bamberger wrote his own
questions as a way of issuing a kind of public apology, like the
Bamberger-Wie-FAQ. Except that he doesn’t actually apologize – yes, he admits
that it would have been nice if he had been able to confront her on Saturday,
before she had a chance to sign the scorecard that ultimately disqualified her
– but fails to realize the central power of his own intervention: it could only
have happened to her, because it was a direct result of media saturation and
coverage. Bamberger kind of realizes this – he admits that he was sent to cover
Wie, not the tournament – but never connects the dots. The important conclusion, and one that has not been said
loudly enough, is the one reached by Eric Adelson at ESPN:
the Magazine. A golf tournament
is an inherently unruly event, and players are ultimately their own referees.
There is no way to document the amount of inches lost and gained, drops
miscalculated or misaligned, that occur in any given weekend. It can only
happen to those under the kind of media spotlight reserved for sixteen year-old
phenoms. Only because of the media horde following Wie around was anyone in
position to notice her mild indiscretion, and only because of the ravenous
spirit of that observation did anyone think long enough about it to care. It’s not Bamberger’s responsibility alone; in the final
analysis, we must – fans and journalists alike – admit our own participation in
her disqualification. Not in order that we should feel guilty, but in order that
we should understand the power of the media, and the power of watching. On a less serious note, connect these dots: Misty May, Dan O’Brien, Herschel Walker,
Dominique Wilkins, and Jerry Rice. Brandi Chastain, Tony Dorsett, Bo Jackson,
Muggsy Bogues, and Goldberg. Jennie Finch, Karl Malone, Clyde Drexler, and
Randall Cunningham.
Figured it out? It’s not every day that SMW gets a chance to discuss such a
rogue’s gallery of B-level superstars. So what possible cosmic force could
bring such an eclectic group of trivia answers together? You guessed it: reality television. Spike
TV has announced plans for “Pros vs. Joes,” pitting contestants versus
former athletes in a variety of sporting arenas. This is admittedly a bizarre
mix of celebrathles, mixing one
of the best players in NFL history with an odd asterisk in the history of
Olympic marketing. In the AP report, it’s Rice who is the superstar –
unsurprisingly, given his recent retirement. But as good a receiver as he was,
the man doesn’t come off as particularly media-savvy – apparently Rice
“eventually hopes to get into broadcasting,” but sees this show as a chance to
show that he can “still be competitive.” SMW suspects that, especially
sandwiched between reruns of
McGyver and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, “Pros vs. Joes” will not exactly
cement Rice’s status as professional demigod. Instead, well, think about what The
Surreal Life did for José Canseco. Finally, time for a real happy birthday to the boys at PTI. Even though they congratulated themselves on four
years last Monday, it’s this Saturday – October 22 – that will recognize four
years since the show first went on the air. This past summer, in an implicit
admission that fans were increasingly getting their sports news from Tony &
Mike (instead of SportsCenter),
ESPN decided to extend PTI into
its 6:00 successor, hooking fans into SportsCenter before allowing them the friendly cadence of PTI’s Big Finish. It’s true, though: like those untold millions who think that
Bill O’Reilly is giving them actual reporting, we turn to Tony & Mike for
news under the guise of adrenaline, delivered with a generous helping of
homoerotic yelling matched only by those old guys on The Muppet Show (SMW knows their names – do you?). Is the news more
fun when it’s delivered with yelling? Do we just like the quick sound-byte
format that PTI has always
encouraged? It’s not sophisticated analysis, and it’s only once in a long while
that a guest appears worthy of the five good minutes supposedly bestowed upon
them, but it’s the center of the American sports universe and certainly,
certainly, worthy of a happy birthday. Make a wish, you two crazy bastards.
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Daily Digest 
