 If
you’re tired of talking about the Eagles, T.O., and the Yanks and the
Sox, never fear: there are lots of other good web pages out there that
won’t mention them at all. This one, unfortunately, makes no such
promises. The problem of tracking media obsession is that sometimes the
story just won’t die. And sometimes, just when you think it’s going to
die, Jesse Jackson shows up. And so we press on.
Remember last week? When we were all beating a path to T.O.’s door
so we could burn down his house? Well, maybe 24/7 coverage was
overdoing it a bit, but it seemed more normal than what we’ve got now,
which, especially in the light of last night’s Cowboys victory, is just
a growing collection of the bizarre.
On Friday, Jesse Jackson showed up.
So the good Reverend thinks that T.O.’s rights are being violated by
the Eagles, and has loudly proclaimed it (as if there were another way
that the good Reverend could communicate). Apparently Jesse counts as
one of those stories that ESPN reports on without giving analysis or
commentary, like his presence makes things too political.
In any event, only PTI has taken a shot, with Wilbon
suggesting that perhaps there were more pressing civil rights issues in
America than T.O.’s contract, and that perhaps the good Reverend might
find a more needy cause. Other than that, it’s clear that Bristol has
limited its attacks specifically to T.O., and has no wish generally to
acknowledge an outside political interest in the case (Ralph Nader anyone)?
Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, fans were burning T.O. in effigy. Sometimes, you have to throw a body off of a bridge
to make your point – though, frankly this doesn’t seem like one of
those times. So it seems reasonable to assume that they’re not going to
welcome Owens back, and we’ve begun in earnest a “where will he end up?” game.
“Game” being the operative word: on Sunday NFL Countdown,
ESPN and Chris Mortensen debuted an animated short that used Atari-era
video game graphics to “shoot down” possible teams for Owens, finally
ending with Denver, Mortensen’s best guess for T.O. in ’06. The actual
team selection here is not the weird part – Peter King says Dallas, and there’s a lot of other speculation;
the odd part is the weird-as-hell “Space Invaders” featurette that ESPN
has now used in as many different shows as possible. Oh, for a
screenshot.
As Jay Glazer points out at Fox, the Eagles could make life miserable for T.O. if they are forced to keep him around. But the bigger truth is, we can all make life miserable for everybody if we just keep talking about him. It’s that simple.
Or, we could take the Sean Salisbury approach. It, too, is very
simple: every time the Eagles lose, you just find some highlights, and
then say “hey, if they had T.O., they would have won this game.” It
sounds like you’re doing sophisticated cross-referential analysis, and
if you say it with authority, nobody will realize that it’s just
empty speculation. It’s a no-brainer. Literally.
After last night’s game, though, we should expect a certain amount
of bandwagon-jumping – both off and on. Pasquerelli says that we have
witnessed a shift of the balance of power in the NFC East, and Fox says that shift is all towards Dallas. In Philly, they’re kissing the season good-bye, and, in a nice moment of “we-told-you-so” journalism, Clark Judge at Sportsline says that’s what they get for abandoning the run.
Kornheiser alert: On PTI yesterday, Wilbon and Jaws both
picked the Eagles to win, one week after they both picked the Colts
over the Pats. Tony, who picked the Pats last week and spent Tuesday
hanging his head in shame, stayed on the same limb yesterday with a
Cowboys pick, so presumably this afternoon his insufferability will be
at peak levels. Consider yourselves warned.
Out of the Frying Pan…
No more T.O. talk. Instead: the Sox and the Yanks! At least they have something
to fight over in 2005, since neither of them survived the first week of
the playoffs. Yes, that’s right, A-Rod took home the AL MVP yesterday,
besting Boston slugger David Ortiz. The contest has been billed as a
referendum on whether or not the DH can be MVP, and must bit a number
of baseball purists against themselves, unable to decide whether they
hate the DH or the Yankees worse.
As soon as the verdict was announced, Bristol’s web page declared that its experts agreed with the verdict
– by about as slim a margin as A-Rod had won. Regardless – and maybe
it’s some sort of universal anti-Yankee bias, or just the fact that
A-Rod sucked it up in the playoffs – we’ve been spending our energy today trying to make Big Papi feel better. He’s up for Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year, and Ken Rosenthal very strangely argues that second place is a sign of respect.
Seriously. Second place is a sign of respect when it’s unexpected, but
when the race has been between two people for the last three months,
second place means… you lost. So whether that really makes him feel
better, well, your guess is as good as mine.
In New York, the Times has proudly proclaimed him the “complete” MVP, and the Post reminds us that “As our alphabet suggests, MVP and DH are mutually exclusive.” Meanwhile, in Boston, The Globe asks what more Big Papi was supposed to do, and Dan-o says it’s just another loss to the Yankees.
It’s like you can hear the whole Nation crying. Not only did they
lose to the Yankees, but they had to read about it from Dan
Shaughnessy. Here at SMW, we offer our heartfelt condolences.
Tomorrow: The MLS cup ended. Really. |
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