Update 9/25/22: This 2009 video from The Onion is both a dead-on spoof of what SportsCenter looked and sounded like at the time and of the ‘how to fix hockey’ sentiments prevailing in the post-lockout era. The Onion’s sports satire efforts eventually culminated in the short-lived “Onion Sports Zone” that briefly aired on Comedy Central.
“Starting next season, NHL games will feature larger nets, full-body tackling and a pregame coin toss to determine who gets to kick off. … Hockey’s never been about the bodychecks, the ice, or the skating. It’s about 11 guys working toward a common purpose. … No more low-scoring games, cold arenas or skating. Just good old-fashioned dunks, ten-car pileups and home runs — which is what goals will be known as.”
